50 Things Every Guy Should Know.

Sooooo...It's been a while since a post but this one is well worth it. I found a list of 50 things every guy should know. I've decided to let the world see how I measure up to the standards that society has imposed. Here...We...Go...

50. Change a tire - Check, and have done it several times.

49. Use a charcoal grill - Check, takes a lot longer but the flavor is great.

48.

47. Throw a punch without looking like a sissy - According to Nick I've got this down...

46. Fry a turkey - Yep. Oil + turkey = delicious.

45. Hook up the cable - C'mon that easy.

44. Pick-up a woman with a one-liner - yeah this one needs some serious work.

43. Get your money's worth at a buffet - Closed the place.

42. Some assembly required - Please...

41. Know your local professional sports teams - Jazz, Grizzlies, Bees, and Real; Got it covered.

40. 

39. Jump-start a car - Had to jump start my Ranger not to long ago, no problems

38. Throw a football - It's not a perfect spiral, but I can throw one.

37. Haggle for a lower price - $10,000 off my new truck...yep done.

36. Tie a tie - Dammit! FAIL!

35. Erect a tent - A to A, B to B...easy.

34. Cast a fishing rod - Used to be an avid fisherman, but caused me to drink too much.

33. Build a fire - With a lighter, yes. With a match, yes. With gas, yeppers. With two sticks, hell no I'm not Bear Grylls

32. Tap and operate a keg - Tap-No, Operate-Yes.

31. Use a chainsaw - Like a lumberjack.

30. Paddle a canoe/kayak - Really is this that hard to master.

29.

28. Drive a manual car - In a pinch while killing the engine a lot yeah I can.

27. Pick-up a girl using your dog as a wingman - No dog so no.

26. Know how to navigate a road trip - Never Eat Soggy Waffles, can do it-to it. GPS anyone?

25. Perform CPR - I'm not a paramedic.

24. Iron a shirt - I can if I have to, but otherwise best left to my mom.

23. Shine your shoes - Soft rag and polish been done.

22. Do at least ten push-ups on command - Yeah I can.

21. Dance - What's your definition of dance?

20. Play poker - Play well enough to hold my own.

19. Parallel park - Easy-Peasy-Lemon-Squeezy.

18. Unclog a toilet - Insert plunger, continue until done.

17. Upgrade at a hotel - Never have tried nor needed to.

16. Rally after a big night of drinking - It's been done before, but it's never pretty.

15. Spot fake breasts - I'd like to say yes but don't have enough experience to confirm.

14. Choose the right urinal - One opening between all parties.

13. Sew a button - Like a boss!

12. Unhook a bra with one hand - I'm keeping this one close to the vest.

11. Open a bottle unconventionally - Used a belt buckle once, so I'm counting it.

10. Talk your way out of a traffic ticket - Never have had a ticket, so I'm counting this as a pass.

9. Off-road without flipping the ATV - I've only rolled my bike once, rubber side is always down otherwise.

8. Buy a gift for a woman - I've done it but has it been successful, thats up to you ladies.

7. Surf the web anonymously - Don't quite know why this one's here but I know how to clear the history files.

6. Spot a liar - Looking down and to the left I see...liar face.

5. Drive in crappy conditions - It's Utah and I own a truck, got it covered.

4. Change a diaper - I've done it but am out of practice.

3. Make a drink - I can make the basics.

2. Shave - Really, I've been shaving everyday for the last five years.

1. Make a mean breakfast - Hells yes, camp with me and I'll give you a heart attack.

Final Score: 43 of 50. I'm a man! THE man!

Utah Tailgating (Yeah, It Happens)

Utah and tailgating may sound like an oxymoron, but let me tell you it happens and it's a whole lot of fun.

The tailgating lot "officially" sits in the parking lot of Guardsman Way and South Campus Drive. Where hundreds of fans clad in red, along with the occasional opponent defector, eat tons of food, and reminisce about the past Ute games.

Truly, however, tailgating takes place all over campus in every parking lot. Where I like to plop down is either at the Huntsman Center lot or at the Student Center lot eat a couple of sausages, and prepare to watch a butt kicking instituted by our boys in red.

Utah tailgating may not be in the same league as say USC, UCLA, Texas, Florida, or any SEC team for that matter. But we are miles ahead of the Cougars, where you sit around drink punch.

Anyway you look at it, Utes know how to have a good time. Before and after games.

My Favorite Utah Team

Let's face it. Utah has been playing football for over 110 years, and maybe only 20 of those years stand out as great teams. Of course you have to include the 2008 Sugar Bowl team and the 2004 Fiesta Bowl team. But what others stand out in that 110 year span? There was 1994, the first time Utah gained national recognition. Finished ranked in the top 10. And 2003, the year Urban Meyer turned all expectations around and made Utah a perennial threat.

To me personally there is only one great Utah football team, 2008. It may seem that this is only because it was the most recent successful team to gain national recognition, but no it is because I feel that I have a very special connection with that year's team.

After years of hard work I finally graduated with my Bachelor's Degree from the University of Utah in 2008. Add to that that I had several classes with some of that teams stars and I have more memories added to that year. I had a communications class with Brian Johnson (who by the way is not that bright of a guy) and a Economics class with Jason Boone just to name a few.

Beside my personal connection there are many other reasons that I love this team more than any other. For one Utah's 2004 team had much of a "white-collar" appeal. They steam-rolled every single opponent they faced all thanks to the Spread Offense. At the time no one had seen the spread offense and had no idea how to stop it. By 2008 the spread had lost it's schtick and had become quite normal, so what did Utah do to combat this problem? They turned to another current fashion and heavily instituted the Wildcat.

Aside from the adjusted offense, Utah returned to their tradition of having one of the toughest Defenses in the country. Anchored by tough as nails linebackers and safetys that patrolled centerfield waiting to poach an interception they were nearly unstoppable.

Add in that 2008 featured the head coaching duties of Kyle Whittingham and it gets better. Although Whittingham played for the rival Cougars in college, he learned the error of his ways and joined up with the Utes as an assistant in 1994, 14 years later he finally got his shot as Head Coach and has made it worth while. With his own recruits in the driver's seat Whitty is what made Utah who they are.

Drama was the name of the game in 2008. Starting with a squeaked out win in the Big House against Michigan to open the year and two incredible come from behind wins against Oregon State and TCU. We knew this was going to be a special year.

I vividly remember the Oregon State game down by 8 with 2:30 minutes left in the game, the Utes kicked into gear. Scoring a TD, and converting a two-point conversion to tie it up with about 1:30 left in the game. The D holds stronger than ever converting a three-and-out giving Utah the ball back with more than enough time. Then the most magical thing I could ever imagine occurred. 45,000+ fans all on their feet started chanting in unison "Louie, Louie, Louie." Everyone knew that the game was in the hands of star kicker Louie Sakoda. Sakoda had become the darling of the Utah football team and everyone knew he was going to win the game for us. Booting a easy-as-pie 35-yarder Sakoda won the game without an ounce of stress, resulting in the first of three field rushes that year.

Against TCU another field rush, Utah who dressed in their black uniforms for the first time ever marched down the field in the final minute to score the winning touchdown. Utah made TCU look like the weakest team in the country, which we later found out was in no way the case.

Top it all off with a blowout win over BYU to cap off the regular season it couldn't be beat. Then finally against all doubters, with no one in their corner Utah had nothing to lose against Alabama. Alabama had been ranked No. 1 for a good portion of the year, but Utah wasn't flinching. Scoring 21 unanswered points in a span of seven minutes to open the Sugar Bowl, Utah went on to win with no problems at all.

These are the reasons my favorite Utah team ever is the 2008 Sugar Bowl champion Utes.

How I became a Ute.

Being born a Canning there was no other team I could ever root for. You might say that I was born with Crimson blood coursing through my veins. Both my parents were born and raised in the Salt Lake City area (Dad in South Salt Lake, Mom in Murray), and for as long as I can remember I've been attending football games.

My parents used to buy tickets through their companies, who during the '80s would buy a block of seats at the games and sell them to their employees at a cheaper rate. Throughout the decade we watched as Utah teams got thrown around by teams, just dreaming of the day when the Utes would be big time (little did we know it would take two more decades). At the time my Dad worked for a company, Northwest Pipeline, that occupied a building in Research Park-a part of the U's property. As such we had incredible seats in the South End Zone right below the old scoreboard featuring a block U logo with a Native American's silhouette. These were the years when Rice Stadium was half full on a good day. We later were moved to the old North End Zone when my Mom got the tickets from her company National Semiconductor. This was when the North End Zone was all General Admission, and you had to get their pretty early to get a decent seat.

I've been told I was taken to Utah football games as an infant in a little red snowsuit to stay warm. Years later I would go but lost interest in the games all too quickly and by the second quarter I was either playing with my smuggled in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles to keep me busy or reading the game program to learn all of the referee's hand signs. To this day I still know a large majority of the signs.

It wasn't until about third grade that I came to watch the games the whole way through. I remember Mike McCoy with a d-lineman about to tackle him throwing a bullet into the end zone to a freshman Kevin Dyson to win the Freedom Bowl. I remember Steve Smith taunting Cougar fans by stating "Even our cheerleaders are kicking your ass" when a Ute male cheerleader beat the hell out of a fan that tried to tackle him and the U flag. I remember both 34-31 wins, the first of which Chris Yergeson booted a Sakoda-like 50-yard field goal to beat BYU for the first time in years. I remember when duck calls rung throughout the stadium calling for Utah's dramatic "Duck" play. I remember when the game ball was delivered by a parachuter and when a person dressed in traditional Ute Indian garb rode across the astroturf with a flaming spear so he could stab a bail of hay on the 50 yard line.

Years later I myself finally became a true Ute in that I graduated from the University of Utah in 2008, the same year that Utah went undefeated and went to a BCS game for the second time.

My life has been filled with 25 years of Utah football memories. And I look forward to many more in the coming years.

Part of NCAA Football 11 video game's release week festivities about your favorite team.

Utah Utes to the Pac-10

It's been a while since I've posted anything on my blog. And there have been some incredible things going on in the world. Oil leaks both locally and abroad, economic woes continue, and the World Cup whipping people into a frenzy.

The biggest news, however, came about two weeks ago when the Pac-10 athletic conference invited two teams to join their ranks. The University of Colorado (at Boulder) was invited first and accepted nearly immediately, the other the greatest university in the country...THE UNIVERSITY OF UTAH.

As I posted on Facebook days before the invitation was extended "Just get together already. He wants her, she wants him. Pac-10 just invite the Utes. The Utes have already rented a tux and bought the flowers."

Utah accepted the invitation just hours after it was extended, and the Utes are now set to leave the ranks of the lower tier college sports and join the prestigious ranks of the "classiest" conference in the country. It is the dream of every Ute fan to join the Pac-10, one that was thought to be far-fetched. But as is the case Dreams do come true.

So to introduce ourselves to the ranks of the Pac-10 here are the basics about our beloved Utes so that you understand, we come to party...and we won't stop partying until where handed the roses.

Name: The University of Utah

Location: Salt Lake City, Utah. Approximately 5 miles east of downtown SLC.

Founded: 1850 as the University of Deseret by Brigham Young (the irony of the fact that the former-Mormon leader founded the school and our chief rival is named after him is not lost on us).

Chief Rival: BYU, and to a lesser extent Utah State University.

Mormon?: While the majority of the state of Utah are Mormon, Salt Lake City is only about 35-40% Mormon.

Alcohol?: Oh yeah we drink, and we drink with the best of 'em. Swing by our tailgate parties and you'll see that we mean business.

Nickname: Utes, after the Native American tribe that lived in the mountains around SLC. The state's name Utah is also derived from the tribe meaning "people of the mountains."

Sensitivity?: The University of Utah has an agreement with the Ute Tribe that states the school may use the name as long as they do not disgrace it.

Stadiums: Football: Rice-Eccles Stadium-seats 45,000; Basketball: Jon M. Huntsman Center-seats 15,000; Baseball: Spring Mobile Ballpark-seats 15,000.

Famous Alumi: NFL - Alex Smith, Scott Mitchell, Steve Smith, & Jamal Anderson. NBA - Andrew Bogut, Keith Van Horn, Andre Miller, Tom Chambers, Michael Doleac, & Hanno Mottola.

My Grandpa Barlow

About 15 or so years ago today, one of my fondest memories occurred. My mom and I joined my grandparents on a day trip to Promontory Point for the annual Golden Spike celebration. We rode out in my grandpa's big ol' motor-home with me planted in the co-pilot seat navigating with a map. After watching the festivities we piled back in the motor-home for some KFC that we bought along the way.

A little over a year later my grandpa died from lung cancer. This was my last great memory of my grandpa. Thinking about it now my grandpa had a lot of grandkids, but yet I was the only one that ever got to go on a trip with him in his prized motor-home.

To this day the memories created that day make me smile.

The Way Too Early Utah Football Notes

Today the Utes held the annual Red-White spring football game up at ol' RES. A chance for fans to get a glimpse of this years boys in red, and a chance for the seldom played boys to strut their stuff on the field. If was a good day, other than starting QB Jordan Wynn going down on the second play with a suspected separated shoulder.

I've been going to the spring games pretty regularly for the last few years and they have never been this popular. Only the chair seats on the west side of the stadium were available to sit at but the entire section was full of fans. There were spring game in the past where only 100 fans (if that) showed up. I was quite impressed with Utah Fans' enthusiasm for this team.

While very few of the stars played much, the backups made their time count. The coaches son, Tyler Whittingham, even got his named called a handful of times. I was impressed with the showings of Freshman QB Griff Robles who threw a couple of bombs for touchdowns, as well as the new corp of linebackers who are looking to fill some big shoes.

I'm now officially excited for the real season to kickoff on Sept. 2. My worries, while still there, are less severe. Utah will once again have a strong football team. One that will challenge for supremacy in the Mountain West Conference.

So for the first time in 2010...GO UTES!!! I know this won't be the last time.

Letter to the Editor of The Globe Newspaper

Dear Editor,

The Globe Newspaper is an incredible asset to the students, faculty, and community of Salt Lake Community College. It provides useful information and lends a critical eye on important issues to all of its readers.

I recently learned that The Globe’s budget was cut significantly, I worked for the newspaper for the better part of four years and we too had budgetary problems all along the way. On more than one occasion there was pressure to be folded into the Student Life and Leadership organization on campus. This presents the problem of conflict of interest, if The Globe is ran by the school it cannot report as an unbiased party. That is precisely the problem plaguing Brigham Young University’s “Daily Universe.”

It is no secret that the newspaper industry is in trouble and years ago The Globe began preparing for the trouble by joining forces with “The Chrony” from the University of Utah. In the first two years of the partnership our advertising revenue greatly increased, which lessened the need for financial support from the college.

As a former Editor of The Globe, I completely understand the budgetary issues associated with running one of Utah’s top college newspapers. With a limited budget it is extremely hard to attract qualified writers, or for that matter willing writers, to cover campus events. When I ran The Globe, and furthermore when my predecessors ran it, I pushed hard for my writers to cover as many campus issues as possible. Of course things fell through the cracks and things were not covered due to staffing limitations, but we did what we could with what he had.

I left the newspaper at the top of it’s game and I have heard rumblings that there have been major shakeups in the makeup of the Globe Student Media Council (GSMC), The Globe’s governing body. I feel that this is where the problem truly lies. During my tenure I had all of the support in the world from the GSMC, but I can see that without them the newspaper would not have been able to survive.

I for one completely support The Globe and it’s mission as SLCC’s Independent Voice. I know that I am not the only Globe alumnus that will show my support and in the following days more alumni will show theirs as well.

Jeren W. Canning
The Globe Newspaper Editor-in-Chief 2007-2008
Salt Lake Community College Alumnus

Things I Thought I Would Know By Now...

I came to a realization today. Somewhere between the mundane workday and the stress that comes with tomorrow I said to myself more than once, "I thought I would know that by now."

Jeff Foxworthy has a bit acknowledging my train of thought. He states that he wishes he knew how Jell-0 worked or how they figure out how long to make a bungy jumper's rope. Foxworthy speaks of the humorous things, but my thoughts are of problems a "normal" 25-year-old should know.

I Wish I knew...

1. ...How to tie a neck tie. I don't to the stupid clip on B.S. and I have three or four ties hanging in my closet all of which have been tied by my dad because I have never learned how.

2. ...How tennis scoring works. I get the 15-30-40-match, win by two progression but what I don't get is how the sets and games work. How does someone win in straight sets or not?

3. ...How to write a good resume. Of course I have one and it does have all the necessary information but it doesn't seem to catch the attention of prospective employers.

4. ...Where my mom came up with her brownie recipe. So damn good I swear they are special-brownies.

5. ...How to be more assertive. Let's face it I'm quite the pushover, this needs to change.

6. ...How to make more money. Does this really need explanation.

7. ...How to stop procrastinating. I have this little problem of waiting until the last possible minute to do any real work. I think it has something to do with my journalism background and needing the pressure of a looming deadline to kick my ass into gear.

8. ...How to meet/date women. No game, no game, no game...AT ALL.

9. ...Where to buy a good suit. Every guy needs one yet, I don't.

10. ...How to make more money. Get a better job is at the top of my list trust me.

Well, looks like I have some work to do to check figure this stuff out...

CHANGE: The time is right for change in sports.

Recently ESPN Magazine printed an article called the 31 things that will make sports better. About two-thirds of which are stupid ideas that will only hurt the sports in which they effect. Honestly is there really a problem with the NFL's pace of play (#2), or the American League's Designated Hitter rule and the National League's lack there of (#3), or my personal favorite govern the length of a basketball player's shorts (#10). ESPN open your eyes, your rules either change the game itself or are so miniscule they don't matter. Here are a sports fans real things that need changing for the better:

15. Fix NFL overtime.

It took NFL decades to finally adopt the two point conversion and it's changed the game. Adoption of college football overtime rules brings in more excitement and parity in a horrible system.

14. Ban all performance enhancing drugs.

Every sport from baseball to horse racing needs mandatory random drug testing aided by swift and harsh punishment for violators.

13. Stiffen salary cap in baseball.

No more you pay a fine if you're over (I'm looking at you Yankees) each team must stay below a total player salary of $100 million per year. If you're over you don't play and you forfeit each game until it is resolved.

12. Separate professional-amateur olympic events.

Still hold the Olympics on schedule in the appointed city but in the major sports (baseball, basketball, soccer, golf, and hockey) countries must field two teams a professional team and a amateur team.

11. No drafting of high school students.

A required two year gap must occur after high school and drafting (college or international play can be used in the interim).

10. Banning the BCS.

Give us what we, the fans, want a playoff. Nothing fancy just a simple eight-team three-week playoff, teams are determined by the top eight computer generated teams.

9. Abolishment of unions.

Screw the unions, they only serve as a safety blanket for athletes who can't follow the rules in the first place.

8. Unify boxing titles under one banner.

How many damn boxing champs are there? For each weight class there is one belt, period.

7. Allow athletes to compete in multiple sports.

Remember the good ol' days when Dion Sanders and Bo Jackson played baseball and football that was so much fun why can't it still be done today?

6. Allow athletes to show emotion.

If a player is showing a little emotion and is not harming anyone, let it be. If a Ute player wants to flash the U at the stands during a game let him (Referees will need common sense for this one...I know unlikely right?).

5. Simplify NASCAR scoring.

If a driver wins, 25 points, one less for each place after the winner. You led the most laps? Tough...you only get the most points if you win.

4. Expanded instant replay in NFL, NHL, NBA and NCAA.

It has greatly helped the NFL and college football, and is pointless in baseball.

3. Centralized scheduling.

For college sports, allow the NCAA to schedule all games. Conference games will be scheduled normally but non-conference will be randomly set, giving mid- and low-major the opportunity to prove themselves against the big boys.

2. Force athletes to take responsibility for their actions on and off the field.

Act irresponsibly and you're next pay check is automatically donated to charity.

1. REPLACE BUD SELIG IMMEDIATELY!!!

The commissioner of baseball has ruined the once great game, Bob Costas needs to take over now and produce rampant changes.